Life is beautiful, painful and surprising – it is so many things. Often we think we are too small for our own life – including the painful parts. But that doesn’t have to be the case. We can be big enough for our own life.
Sometimes the roads all disappear and the maps stop making sense. We find ourselves in the wilderness.
In the wilderness, we have a choice: We can focus on the oppression, the darkness, and the fear, or we can use the experience to know ourselves more profoundly.
Where is the intensity being felt? Where is the epicenter of it? What deeper pain is it re-awakening? There lies the wisdom. We find ourselves in the wilderness because something has triggered our own darkness to cry out, wanting to be known, wanting to be embraced, wanting to be healed.
We can resist — through denial, through self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, and more — or we can take a good look into the darkness and find the wisdom that's there.
We spend so much time and effort trying to avoid ourselves — to mitigate ourselves, to make ourselves small, to bargain with ourselves. We hide, we cover, we deny.
What we all need... is the confidence to be ourselves. The courage to be truly free. The hard-won guts to stand up in the face of rejection, fear, uncertainty, and anxiety and simply say, "I Am" — and to let that be enough, yes — but also to allow it be beautiful. To find clarity and strength in that most ultimate of truths.
This is Self-Love Warriorship. This is Creatorship.
Confidence is having trust in our inherent qualities. It is Ziji — Brilliance. You are not thinking, but you feel completely embodied.Sakyong Contemplation
When we free ourselves from that prison for the first time, we learn confidence. Trials will come again — and again, we'll have a chance to see the deeper, darker parts of ourselves reflected in others around us. Don't get discouraged or lost in the reflections. Let them point you to the truth.
The truth might be hard to accept, but it won't destroy you. It will liberate you. It will shake you up, turn your world upside down, and you might think that all of this is a cause for sadness and suffering.
But it's not. Suffering may arise, but only as an indicator, not as a final stop.
Stay with it. Explore it. Surrender into it. And I promise you, liberation will be there at the heart of it. This is your starting point of healing and growth. Your own self-awareness is your greatest treasure — don't resist it. All experiences, all perceptions, all reflections point back to You. They are all a projection of You.
So let them be the crucibles of your own Creatorship.
You have a soft spot. Contrary to popular belief, it is not where you are weak, it is the gateway to indestructible power.
You can be free. You can be big enough for your own life.